I Have Irrational Arachnophobia

The Halloween season is the worst part of the year.

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I use baby shampoo because I never close my eyes in the shower. I am terrified of a spider falling on me or crawling out of the drain.

I approach bananas in the grocery store with anxiety and trepidation, because one time I read a story about arachnids in banana crates.

My spider fear is near debilitating. I am not alone, as I know that fear of spiders is one of the most common on the planet. But I believe my case is extreme.

I wouldn’t dare use Google to find a picture for this post. Instead, I decided to take a picture of a silly-looking lawn spider up the street.

Halloween walks around my neighborhood are fraught affairs. Everywhere I go are white ‘webs’ wrapping around people’s bushes, dangling spiders in trees. I cannot describe how much I hate it.

But I think Halloween spider displays are more garish recently. Growing up I don’t remember giant spiders, like the one in the picture adorning someone’s lawn. Now I regularly walk by a house with dozens of black felt spiders with bright red eyes, crawling all over their house.

I think the children’s song the Itsy-Bitsy Spider is abominable. Does anyone else find it strange that we socialize toddlers…