When I Tell My Adoption Story Pay Me

If you find it valuable and educational, treat it that way

Imagine being a panelist, surrounded by strangers, and talking about your life. You’ll also be making yourself emotionally exposed and open to their questions. Would you do it for free? Would you do it repeatedly without compensation?

You wouldn’t. Why should adoptees?

I’ve spoken to current and prospective adoptive parents, children, advocates, and others.

When I first began receiving requests, I was elated to share my family’s history. I felt honored to be invited.

Sure, I formerly spoke gratis. I needed to get my name in the adoption arena. I have interesting viewpoints to add to the conversation.

But along my adoption journey, my thinking evolved. And I asked, ‘Why am I speaking free of charge?’

When I’m invited to a panel, I always ask if I’ll be paid. Usually, they reply, ‘Sorry, we can’t do anything.’ Or they’re almost indignant that I asked.

But, their response contrasts with the overwhelming support I receive after speaking. There is a severe disconnect happening.

Afterward, they’ll email me, grateful that I shared such a powerful story of identity and loss. They welcomed my…