Member-only story
Stop Calling Adoptees ‘In the Fog’
It’s othering and portrays a false narrative
Since joining the adoptee community in 2007, I’ve come across the term ‘in the fog’ to describe adoptees. As far as I can tell this designation means that the adoptee still sees their adoption as a fairy tale story, and hasn’t wrestled with its emotional consequences.
Frequently, this designates their general attitude of gratefulness about the process. It also usually includes naivety. And from what I’ve seen shows an innocence about adoption procedures that the namers long ago found false.
If you want to call yourself ‘in the fog,’ that’s fine. If you want to describe your adoption awareness and evolution of knowledge in that language I have no issue with it.
But don’t use it as a label for other adoptees. Adoptees need to stop using this term for two main reasons. It’s othering and it characterizes a fiction that adoption consciousness is linear.
It’s sad to see adoptees create distinctions between themselves. I understand that creating ‘in’ and ‘out’-groups is human nature. And making societal barriers is a bug of humanity. But saying another adopted person is ‘in the fog’ is unnecessary.
For a sub-population that consistently discusses its marginality and visibility, I find it strange that they choose to…
